Grace Episcopal Church

36 Woodlawn Ave.

P.O. Box 1197

Vineyard Haven, MA 02568

508 693-0332

FAX 508 693-0859

Customs and Requirements for Marriage Services[1]

and the Blessing of Civil Unions at Grace Church

The following information is intended to clarify the customs and requirements at Grace Church as you prepare for this significant event in your lives.  In your planning, please remember that the Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage is a service of Christian worship.  While every attempt is made to make the service festive and joyous, primary attention is given to the devotional aspect of the Sacrament.  Requests for practices and music more appropriate for a reception mat not be honored.  Marriage ceremonies at Grace Church are normally celebrated according to the Book of Common Prayer, which provides a simple, beautiful, and dignified liturgy for a traditional ceremony.  It has stood the test of almost four centuries and has become the model for most other Christian rites.  Other rites for the Blessing of Civil Unions are available through the parish office.  At this time the Bishop of Massachusetts does not allow the clergy of this diocese to officiate over the civil portion of same sex unions.  However we are happy to accommodate requests for blessing Civil Unions and have a Justice of the Peace resident in the congregation. 

According to the Summary of the Faith (the catechism) in the Book of Common Prayer, Christian marriage is a Sacrament “…in which the partners enter into a lifelong union, make their vows before God and the Church, and receive the grace and blessings of God to help them fulfill their vows” (BCP, page 861).  The ministers of the Sacrament are the persons exchanging these vows.  The priest blesses the union in the name of the Church.  The congregation gathers to witness the vows and celebrate with the couple.  All planning for the ceremony  should reflect these purposes of the Sacrament, and the roles of the participants.

Who may be married?

The Canons of the Episcopal Church state that for a marriage to take place in the Episcopal Church “at least one of the parties has received Holy Baptism.”  Marriages are solemnized for couples in which one person is a baptized Christian.

How to Begin?

Contact the Rector at 508 693-0332 at least 90 days prior to the date of your ceremony to give the name, address and telephone numbers of the couple and the proposed date of the ceremony.  After the Rector has given preliminary approval, a form will be sent to you to complete.  Return the completed form along with the applicable Deposit and Sanctuary fees that will be enumerated on the enclosed work sheet, to the parish office 60 days prior to the date of your ceremony.  You will be contacted for an appointment to initiate your counseling.  Firm arrangements for the date and time will be made after receiving the application form and the initial fees and only after discussion with the Rector.  The date will be tentatively held for you until that time.

Officiating Clergy

The Rector will officiate at the rehearsal and service.  Other clergy, including those of other denominations, are welcome to assist.  With the Rector’s approval another clergy person not associated with Grace Church may officiate at the rehearsal and service.  However, all clergy must be duly licensed in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Pre-Ceremony Preparation

Three counseling sessions are required; more, if the Rector deems necessary.  First, you must call the Rector between the hours of 9:00 am and 3:00 pm, Tuesday through Friday, to set up the initial session

During the counseling sessions, time will also be spent in planning the particulars of the ceremony.  Those who are divorced need to mail a copy of their divorce papers with their application and complete a request for remarriage that will be sent to the Bishop.  His or her consent is necessary prior to any priest officiating at a second marriage.  These papers will be kept on file in the records of the parish.  For those seeking a third marriage, it is strongly suggested that you have a justice of the peace officiate at your ceremony.  You may then request the church to bless your union at a later date.

If either member of a couple are living outside of Martha’s Vineyard, counseling from an Episcopal priest in your area is acceptable.  The only requirement is that the clergyperson write a letter to the Rector of Grace Church at least 30 days prior to the wedding, stating that you have received counseling and that he/she sees no impediment to the marriage.

Music

Couples that wish music at their ceremony should contact Mr. Wes Nagy, the organist, through the parish office to plan the music for the service, as well as to discuss what type of music is permitted.  Mr. Nagy, or his designated substitute, will provide the music for all ceremonies and will suggest music appropriate for the service should you not have specific choices of you own.

The Marriage License

A license from the Tisbury Town Clerk is required.  You may contact them at P.O. Box 606, Vineyard Haven, MA 02568, tel. 508 696-4215.   License fees must be paid in cash.  The license and all fees ( Fees sheet will be mailed directly from the Parish office) are due to the Parish Office by the Thursday preceding your ceremony.

The Rehearsal

The date and time of the rehearsal will be established with the Rector.  The following persons participate in the rehearsal:  the couple, their parents, all attendants, and ushers.  Other invited guests are welcome.

The Reception

Wine and champagne may be used only in the parish hall if there is a reception on site following the wedding.  For those who desire it, the Rectory lawn and flower gardens adjacent the church are a pleasant alternative for a reception, weather permitting.

Flowers

All flowers must be arranged by a professional florist or the Grace Church flower guild.  Flower delivery time should be arranged through the office.  Do not assume that the church will be open, or that someone will be here to receive them without prior arrangements.  They may not be delivered at any other time.  Flowers used on the altar are considered a gift to the church and are not permitted to be removed following the ceremony.

Photographers

Photographers must speak to the Rector regarding Grace Church practices prior to the day of the ceremony.  Photographers who wish to see the sanctuary prior to the ceremony should schedule a time with the parish office.

Photography, Still

Still photographs of the processional and recessional are permitted.  No flash photograph is permitted during the ceremony.  All other still photographs must be taken after the ceremony (or before, predicated on the schedule of the officiant).  One half hour is available after the ceremony for taking pictures.

Photography, Video

All video photography must be cleared by the Rector prior to the day of the wedding.

Confetti, etc.

Rice, confetti, rose petals and the like cause maintenance and safety problems and may not be used either inside or outside of the church.

Ceremony Leaflets

Leaflets and/or programs are the responsibility of the couple.  Leaflets and/or programs will not be provided by the parish office.  The Rector should be consulted prior to printing for the appropriate format to use.  Samples are available.

We hope this will help you in the process of planning for this important day in your lives.  Thank you for choosing Grace Church to share in your joy.